Weightless worms confronted Great Satan!

THURSDAY, JUNE 1, 2017

The Times continues to help:
On its reimagined page A3, the New York Times continues to help. This morning's Here to Help feature (hard copy only) appears beneath this heading:
Here to Help
HOW TO SET UP A CHARCOAL GRILL
At least they didn't try to tell us how to be mindful while grilling.

Today's Spotlight feature (ADDITIONAL REPORTAGE AND REPARTEE FROM OUR JOURNALISTS) does a masterful job misconstruing some informative work (by Nate Cohn) on last year's presidential polling.

Meanwhile, in the Of Interest feature, this is one of this morning's "NOTEWORTHY FACTS:"
In 2013, as part of its burgeoning space program, Iran claims to have launched a monkey more than 70 miles into the edge of space and retrieved it alive. The animal's name was Pishgam, Persian for "pioneer."
In the report from which that noteworthy fact was drawn, we learn that Iran retrieved live worms from a trip into space before attempting the trick with Pishgam. Hollywood later reworked the idea, creating Snakes on a Plane.

The editors managed to work the word "bras" into this morning's "Quote of the Day." We'd say the reimagined page A3 is actualizing its motto:
You are the dumbest people on earth
We at the Times want to serve you
Do you wonder how we ever managed to reach our degraded cultural state? Go our and buy the hard-copy Times. Turn to A2 and A3.

7 comments:

  1. BTW the Times just fired their Public Editor. She was canned almost as brutally as the way Trump canned Comey. The problem seems to be that she did too good a job of pointing out bias.

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    Replies
    1. Wish we could figure out how to can you.

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  2. Mindfulness is so funny, hahahahaha!!!!

    Never mind that it has actual health benefits and improves wellbeing. It is one of those things upper middle class people know about, so it must be something to poke big fun at.

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    Replies
    1. A very funny joke makes you cry. You must be fun at parties.

      Delete
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